If you had asked me a year ago, when I was handing in my final work and putting up my degree show what I wanted to do next I would not have said freelance. I wanted a secure job where I could go to the same desk at the same office with the same people, Monday-Friday, 9-5. I wanted security and when you are young and new to design, you want to be looked after too, so freelance, where you are with different people every few days, in varying offices all over London, doesn't feel like the designer upbringing I had hoped for.
Despite this, I have found myself thrown into the pit of freelance, having to fend for myself. Thanks to the recruitment agency, I am finally being taken seriously and paid for it. I am finally a junior designer with one freelance client, but with sporadic work and last minute bookings I don't have the security that I longed for. However, it is a such a relief. Regardless of whether it is a proper job or not, my confidence has rocketed. I am no longer considered to be learning, or a student and I have gained the respect I have been wanting to receive since graduation.
Being a freelancer for the week, rather than a placement was a culture shock. Whilst I was given mostly the same tasks to do, I felt more confident in putting my ideas across and contributing to the task with the other designers. I felt like they would listen to me and consider my opinions. More importantly, though, I felt the pressure and by the end of the week (three-day week might I add) I was exhausted. My mind was burnt out. I found I was working harder; I wanted to earn my day rate.
Whilst I have made this crucial jump from placements to freelance work, I am still struggling financially because to begin with it is unlikely I will be inundated with requests for my services, yet I am positive. It is Sunday and I don't know if I am working tomorrow, or not and I certainly don't know if I am wanted back at the office I was at last week, but the point is I have made the step, I have taken the jump and now it is time to see if I will land on my feet.