Freelance Doubts

Becoming a Junior Designer was my aim; my finish line, but I am not finished yet. I had my first week as a Freelance Junior Designer and it was something of an eye-opener. Proper money and a genuine design brief meant that the pressure was on from the start.

After showing my week’s work at the end of week catch-up, I was met with awe and praise, but I am always uncertain as to its sincerity. Surely if they had liked my work, they’d have invited me back soon to help with the same brief. Perhaps the praise was more that I had out-performed their expectations, (it being my first year out of University had been mentioned several times in the studio that week) rather than come up with some ground breaking ideas.

It didn’t go unnoticed to me that I was the only designer under 30 years old on the team; perhaps they had had bad experiences with juniors before. I was their wild card. I just hope that I did well. You can never really tell, like I say you never really know to what extent people are being genuine, especially if you barely know them, and you are unlikely to see them again.

I feel like I have made a gamble and lost. I have taken to jump into becoming Freelance, but with little work on the horizon, I am unsure whether I should take a step back and find alternative placements or whether I should now solely sell myself as freelance. I am lost and without guidance. With rent to pay, deposits to save for and increasing pressure from once-proud parents, I cannot afford spells of unemployment and I need to think of something fast.

I thought becoming a Junior designer was my goal, but it turns out it’s just one more hurdle in the everlasting obstacle course of graduate life. I yearn for a simple solution, a regular wage and a normal, life. Perhaps I have just chosen the wrong career.