Since graduation I have barely been able to scratch my nose in between design placements, part time work and cleaning up after my batchelor housemates. However, with a week of nothing ahead of me, an empty sketchbook that hasn't been opened since the summer of post-graduate optimism and an inbox littered with rejections and "constructive criticism" I have started to question what I am really doing.
I have been running for months and I am exhausted, but it is only now I take a break, I realise that I don't know where I am running to. I have been to design agency after design agency, interview after interview with no idea of what is coming next. I realise that the need for money and paying my rent has been more of a priority for me than my passion for design and desire for self-improvement. I never really thought it would take me this long to find a job, and I am not sure how much longer I can do it for. Taking a step back is important to gain perspective, but now the seeds of self-doubt have been sown, it's going to be hard to rekindle the enthusiasm I once showed for design internships.
Long distance runners know it as "The Wall". Whatever it is for design interns, I have hit it.
I have hit it hard.